A few months ago, my youngest brother went to be interviewed by our home ward Bishop in preparation to be ordained to the office of Elder. My youngest brother is a good kid—quiet, easy-going, obedient. He’s never given my parents a moment’s worry (no drugs, no liquor, no parties, no girlfriends.) In fact, we tease my brother that he is our family’s Nephi—the younger sibling who has to keep the older ones in line. And in our mixed faith, non-Priesthood holding family, I think that’s quite the compliment.  On a personal level, I was excited to think that I could soon go to my newly ordained brother for Priesthood blessings.

But my brother came home from the interview in silence. We asked what was wrong. “He told me that I’m not ready. That I don’t know enough to be ordained to the office of an Elder.” The bishop had sent my brother away without suggesting another interview or giving him reading homework. He had just sent him away. My brother-in-law (a pioneer stock Mormon who is serving in his home ward’s bishopric) asked my brother questions about the duties of being an Elder. “He knows more than I did about the office of Elder when I was ordained,” he told me in a later conversation.

The situation left me torn. I often feel we don’t ensure that people know enough before they are allowed to take part in various ordinances. After all, we do baptize people who have a very limited understanding of the gospel. And I know that we baptize people who have a very limited understanding of the gospel because I was one of them as a 13-year-old convert. (I remember sitting in my baptismal interview with a missionary who asked me if I knew what the Word of Wisdom was. “Um, is that the law means that we promise not to have sex before marriage?” I responded, blushing.) I am fully in support of making sure members know the weightiness and the responsibilities that come with the ordinances they receive. And yet, my heart ached for my brother whose desire for the ordinance was there and whose confidence had been shattered as a result of the interview. He felt like he had failed the spiritual equivalent of the SAT.

There is a delicate balance between knowledge and desire as ordinance qualifiers just as there is a delicate balance between justice and mercy as judgment tools. We need both. I don’t doubt or dispute that we need both. However, I wonder what could be done to better ensure that converts are prepared for the unfamiliar territory of temple recommend interviews, PEC meetings, Patriarchal blessings, etc. Perhaps it’s time the church published a general handbook for members. After all, bishops and missionaries get handbooks to help them navigate that which is unfamiliar. Why not do the same for the general church population?  Because, at the end of the day, no one should ever feel like they’ve flunked a spiritual entrance test.