We should note that there are often worthy principles at play and/or reasonable explanations for 'amusing' scriptural passages. The statement out of nowhere about Lehi 'dwelling in a tent' does show the extent to which Lehi and family were willing to sacrifice, as we learn later that he was apparently pretty wealthy in Jerusalem.

The Abinidi section also may have a reasonable explanation, as with this one from Brant Gardner:

When Abinadi comes among the people he comes in disguise, and then appears to blow his cover by announcing his name. Why the disguise if he were to openly state his name? The answer is verse 11:29. Without the disguise Abinadi could not have come among them because he would have been killed as he entered the community. We learn from this that Abinidi has been outside the community for the space of two years, but would still be known and still hunted for his life. Whether or not Abinadi understood the personal martyrdom that awaited him, the Lord's purpose required that Abinadi go before Noah's court. To accomplish that, Abinadi had to survive long enough to be in a public place where he could both preach and call attention to himself. In such a public place, the people who might have killed him upon sight would now defer to the officials of the government, and Abinadi would be take before Noah. That audience before Noah was the true purpose of his mission. Coming in disguise got him to the point where he could be given over to the authorities and brought to confront Noah and his priests directly.

Still brings a smile to my face when I read it, though...

as for myself, to me he doth not stink

In a BYU married student ward I actually heard a sister get up and quote this scripture as an example of the way a wife should love her husband. She went on and on about how beautiful it was that Lamoni's wife was so faithful to him and how no matter what nasty things other people think about your husband, you should always say that to you he does not stink.

My personal favorite is Daniel 5:6 just after the finger wrote on the wall

"Then the king’s countenance was changed, and his thoughts troubled him, so that the joints of his loins were loosed, and his knees smote one against another."

And it came to pass that after he had smitten off the head of Shiz, that Shiz raised up on his hands and afell; and after that he had struggled for breath, he died.

3 Nephi 3:13

Yea, he sent a proclamation among all the people, that they should agather together their women, and their children, their flocks and their herds, and all their substance, save it were their land, unto one place.

Job 12:1-2, where Job responds to one of his 'friends':

And Job answered and said, No doubt but ye are the people, and wisdom shall die with you.

Heh. Bet that left a mark. ..bruce..

There are a few funny Book of Mormon jokes at this site: here

These are all great -- thanks for sharing!

My favorite is Alma 24:19

And thus we see that, when these Lamanites were brought to believe and to know the truth, they were firm, and would suffer even unto death rather than commit sin; and thus we see that they buried their weapons of peace, or they buried the weapons of war, for peace.

I like to imagine that while Mormon was engraving the plates he stopped and looked at what he wrote and said "Weapons of peace? What the...?" And, since gold plates don't have erasers, he had to rephrase the sentence to "they buried their weapons of war, for peace."

To My Friends of Faith,

Recently a friend at our church brought this "film" to my attention.
Her son apparently was sent this web link from someone.

It's a movie clip (that has been recently released, or is about to,,, I'm not sure),,
anyway, it depicts Mormons as flesh eating ghouls, and it is just awful. www.thebookofzombie.com


On behalf of myself and my husband, and our Mormon friends,
I would like to make sure that young people are NOT subjected to this terrible conception of our faith.


please let me know if you are able to help.


regards, Betty Toms

Ether 2:18-21
18 And it came to pass that the brother of Jared cried unto the Lord, saying: O Lord, I have performed the work which thou hast commanded me, and I have made the barges according as thou hast directed me.
19 And behold, O Lord, in them there is no light; whither shall we steer? And also we shall perish, for in them we cannot breathe, save it is the air which is in them; therefore we shall perish.
20 And the Lord said unto the brother of Jared: Behold, thou shalt make a hole in the top, and also in the bottom; and when thou shalt suffer for air thou shalt unstop the hole and receive air. And if it be so that the water come in upon thee, behold, ye shall stop the hole, that ye may not perish in the flood.
21 And it came to pass that the brother of Jared did so, according as the Lord had commanded.

Now there is wise counsel!!! :)

Great post and comments! I'm a little late to the party, but here's a bit of the Book of Mormon that always makes me laugh. You know in the Allegory of the Vineyard in Jacob 5, when the Lord of the vineyard comes back and tastes all the fruit and declares it bad?

30 And it came to pass that the Lord of the vineyard and the servant went down into the vineyard; and they came to the tree whose natural branches had been broken off, and the wild branches had been grafted in; and behold all sorts of fruit did cumber the tree.
31 And it came to pass that the Lord of the vineyard did taste of the fruit, every sort according to its number. And the Lord of the vineyard said: Behold, this long time have we nourished this tree, and I have laid up unto myself against the season much fruit.
32 But behold, this time it hath brought forth much fruit, and there is none of it which is good. And behold, there are all kinds of bad fruit; and it profiteth me nothing, notwithstanding all our labor; and now it grieveth me that I should lose this tree.

I picture the Lord finding all this bizarre fruit "cumbering" the tree, tasting one of each type in turn, and just as quickly spitting it out in disgust, saying "Ptoooey! None of this fruit is any good!" while the servant perhaps wonders whether the Lord should just give up on the whole tasting exercise without having to taste every single kind.

Alma 11:29- And he answered, no.

I'm way late to this thread, but I have enjoyed it and wanted to add a couple that have always made me smile:

"Now when Alma had said these words, Korihor was struck dumb, that he could not have utterance, according to the words of Alma. And now when the chief judge saw this, he put forth his hand and wrote unto Korihor, saying: Art thou convinced of the power of God? In whom did ye desire that Alma should show forth his sign? Would ye that he should afflict others, to show unto thee a sign? Behold, he has showed unto you a sign; and now will ye dispute more?"
Uh, ya, Judge? He was struck dumb, not you.

And then this one: "And it came to pass that they took him; and his name was Nehor; and they carried him upon the top of the hill Manti, and there he was caused, or rather did acknowledge, between the heavens and the earth, that what he had taught to the people was contrary to the word of God; and there he suffered an ignominious death." Mormon's Freudian slip?

And now when the chief judge saw this, he put forth his hand and wrote unto Korihor, saying:

There's an easy answer -- Korihor was deaf as well as dumb. Being "struck dumb" means you're also deaf, even though that's not specified.

See the story of Zacharias in Luke Chapter 1 after he's "struck dumb" by Gabriel before John the Baptist was born:

And it came to pass, that on the eighth day they came to circumcise the child; and they called him Zacharias, after the name of his father.
And his mother answered and said, Not so; but he shall be called John.
And they said unto her, There is none of thy kindred that is called by this name.
And they made signs to his father, how he would have him called.
And he asked for a writing table, and wrote, saying, His name is John. And they marvelled all.

I know there's an answer! But it's still funny to read it the way it's written.

Alma 17:36-37 this one with Ammon always makes me laugh when I read it.

"But Ammon stood forth and began to cast stones at them with his sling; yea, with mighty power he did sling stones amongst them; and thus he slew a certain number of them insomuch that they began to be astonished at his power; nevertheless they were angry because of the slain of their brethren and they were determined that he should fall; therefore, seeing that they could not hit him with their stones, they came forth with clubs to slay him. 37: but behold, every man that lifted his club to smite ammon, he smote off their arms with his sword for he did withstand their blows by smiting their arms with the edge of his sword, insomuch that they began to be astonished, and began to flee before him; yea, and they were no few in number; and he caused them to flee by the strength of his arm...

A missionary is on a mission with a non-member interested. 1 Nephi 3:7 is usually a good scripture to give an investigatior, but he accidentally says 3 Nephi 3:7.