(One of a series exploring religious themes in popular music and other media)
When I look back upon my life
It's always with a sense of shame
I've always been the one to blame
For everything I long to do
No matter when or where or who
Has one thing in common, too
It's a sin
Everything I've ever done
Everything I ever do
Every place I've ever been
Everywhere I'm going to
It's a sin
Lyrics by Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe
In the process of gaining (or losing) one's religion, feelings like Neil's can spring up with surprising conviction. The moments of realization where those rights are all wrong, everything thought to be going gangbusters suddenly shatters into a million little slivers and you're sitting in the middle of glass shards reflecting those newly discovered abominations. The identity crisis and struggles that follow make a mighty turning point in many a life.
On the flip side, directing the emotion of thoughts towards the source of judgment expresses the frustration of never being good enough for God or the church. The LDS Church does not teach that man is inherently sinful, predisposed to do evil at every turn, but the belief that God stands shaking His head eternally disappointed with us creeps in here and there. King Benjamin's sermons were meant to help humble his people--the talk of unprofitable servants lower than the dust was never intended for flagellation.
Neil's vocals also examine the self-loathing anguish accompanying failed repentance:
Father, forgive me, I tried not to do it
Turned over a new leaf, then tore right through it
It can be truly horrifying to take two steps forward, three steps back when it comes to changing a bad habit. Doubt and despair, worry and woe, we may shrink and wish for those mountains to cover us and our iniquity. The LDS teachings on Christ's Atonement run counter to the idea that we will always be ashamed in the presence of God, indeed, we believe that our mortal leaves will always be filled with holes of one sort or another. An emphasis on daily prayer to commune with God, immersion in the scriptures to fill our hearts and minds with truths, weekly observance of the sacrament ordinances to renew, to rededicate, to repair our leaves through Our Redeemer.
Having sung along with such pain, how much more enthusiastically can we belt out the song of redeeming love?